Lost

LOST

One way or the other?
Foward stands my destiny,
Behind stands the past.
Neither, show me direction.

Confused of all I see,
Confused of all I can not.
The light shows no hope,
The dark no care.

So much to learn,
Yet so little is of importance.
My footing so delicate,
For the ground is not steady.

I can not help but worry.
Where am I bound?
No cause to live for,
Nothing to catch my eye.

Goals that are always second guessed.

When I wake in the morning.
A new day is gone.
One that has barely started.

As the night settles in and the stars come out,
I lie awake recapturing a distant past.
One that was not desired till it passed on.

Such an inconsiderate heart,
Such a lost soul.

Prayer leads me no where,
For they are not answered until I no longer care.

Cradle me,
I have no safe haven,
Only questions,
Doubts,
And unsteady thoughts.

“ROBB” (Fall of 1997)

They say that people have different ways of saving memories mine is in writing I guess. As we all know by now I fancy myself being a poet. Quite possibly not a very talented one but never the less I continue to write. It is my outlet. My emotional scream and how I vent. This poem does not have a date on it but where it sits in my numerous files and with what other writings surround it I can confidently assume is written around the time I dated your mother. I have shared others with you already from that time but I figured I’d stick this on here. I think the last stanza really speaks to where my mind was and how life was for me then. I young man, far away from home, just trying to find his place in the world, a place to belong.

Cradle me,
I have no safe haven,
Only questions,
Doubts,
And unsteady thoughts.

The funny thing is fast forward 20 years and here I am the same man with the same unsteady thoughts save for now I have added pounds, lost the hair on my head and my beard is turning “chrome” (Using your own words lol). I having a feeling I am finally finding myself. Sarah, I think you are a big part of that to be honest. I am excited to see what the future brings for us because, as you can see in my writing from 20 years ago, and how you have spent the first part of your life we could both use a little bit of happiness and steady thoughts.

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